“It never crossed my mind that anything was wrong”

At first, Lynda thought she had a problem with her contact lenses. But when she couldn’t get rid of the blurriness, even when she took them out, she knew something must be wrong. 

She had an eye test already booked, so she thought she could get it checked out then. 

Lynda said: "It’s degeneration of the macula,” the optician told me. “You’ve lost me,” I said. “I don’t know what that means.” 

The optician said: "The macula controls your central vision, and you’ve got a condition called AMD, which is age-related macular degeneration. It means that you’re going to lose your sight. It looks like you’ve had it for about five years." 

Describing how she felt in that moment Lynda said: "I was gone at that point. “What do you mean?!” I asked. “Why haven’t I been told this before? Why am I only finding out now?” And his response was, “Well, we were told that there’s no cure and there’s nothing you can do, so why worry somebody unnecessarily?

"But you are going to lose your sight. It could happen anytime, really. It could be next week, next month. You just don’t know.”

I could cry now just thinking about it

She added: "I could cry now just thinking about it. When I got home, my husband saw my face and said, “What’s wrong?” I told him, “I’m losing my sight."

When Lynda's husband asked when she would lose her sight, all Lynda knew was what she'd been told, that it could be next week, next month or next year. 

"We were both just stunned," she said. "I was absolutely stunned. That evening, I went online and just typed in AMD. 

"Well, of course, “Oh, my God,” – every horror story you could possibly find is on there. And it just terrified me." 

Your life changes in an instant 

"I was an absolute mess. Your life changes in an instant. I look back on it, and at the time, there was nothing worse that could have happened to me. Of course, worse things can happen, much worse, but at that moment in time, it affected me terribly.

"I was coming up to retirement age, and all the plans we had, everything we wanted to do, I wasn’t ever going to be able to if I couldn’t see. It wasn’t going to be an option. It was completely horrendous." 

Lynda was concerned about all the things she might lose. 

"Of all the things I don’t want to lose, it’s being able to see faces," she said. 

"I want to see people. I don’t care if I can’t drive a car or read; I can listen to music, there are audiobooks and all of those things. But I just want to be able to see the people I love.

"And if one more person says to me, ‘oh, you don’t lose your eyesight completely’ I’m going to scream, because I don’t want to lose my eyesight at all." 

Macular Society counselling stopped me from going to some very dark places.

It was the Macular Society's counselling service which helped turn things around for Lynda as she was able to stop her mind from thinking the worst. 

"Counselling stopped me from going to some very dark places," she said. "I’m naturally one of those people that if there’s an issue, I go to the worst-case scenario. Straight away I’m there. But Suzanne was brilliant. She worked with me a lot to stop my mind from running away with itself.

"And now we’re a few months down the road and I’m handling it and it’s okay. I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel. It’s very traumatic, but regardless of what happens, I believe now that I can get through it. You adapt along the way. 

"This condition is part of me. I have to get used to that. Being told you’ll lose your sight is a shock and a massive traumatic event. It feels like a bereavement. And you have to give yourself time to accept it. But it's really tough."

Lynda wants to raise awareness to stop others going through a similar experience to her, as well as raise funds to stop people losing their sight altogether. 

You will be OK 

"It’s heartbreaking because I know that there are people every day getting the same diagnosis. I want to tell them it’s going to be ok. You will be okay. But when I hear about young children being diagnosed with macular disease, it just absolutely breaks my heart. It’s horrendous.

"I’m 60 years old and I really don’t want to lose my sight, but I’ve had 60 years of seeing and you’ve got youngsters, teenagers who are losing their sight – it’s devastating. So, anything that can be done for those children, must be done.

"And the encouraging thing is, there’s so much research going on right now. Just look at the things they’re trying in order to help us; stem cell research and new treatments to try and bring our central vision back. Even just slowing the condition down would be such a bonus. We could keep our sight for longer."